Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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