I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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