Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize