i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
