This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
