I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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