O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
