I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
