Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
