Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
