We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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