I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
