also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize