im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
