I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
