rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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