but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
