u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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