This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
