You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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