Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
