Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
