i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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