If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
