Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize