i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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