im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
