Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
