I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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