Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Never underestimate the power of titties
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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