I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just pee around me
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize
