hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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