so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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