normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
