somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He kissed a someone with a penis
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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