There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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