I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
