I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
