so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
