You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
