in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
