Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
