The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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