So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
