Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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