i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
