so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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