She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize