This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You pole danced in your parka.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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