Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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