The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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