Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
whose ass print is on the piano?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
