i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
