i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
