Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
