my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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