Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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