I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
