I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
