so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
