He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
