I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
