why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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