I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
