He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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